I haven't been up to much lately - which is the problem. I work, come home, take care of the kiddo & the dog, and work. I haven't done anything *fun* in awhile well except for Easter...that was fun but different. My parents are on a month long vacation so all the sibs and I decided to do our own thing. So the kiddo & I colored Easter Eggs & had our own Easter Egg hunt along w/our neighbors. We did manage to see a couple of movies. I loved Rio & I thought Soul Surfer was a very inspirational movie. Kinda makes me feel ashamed - she did/does more with 1 arm than I do w/2!
This weekend I'm focusing more on *ME*. Taking time each day to focus on me, myself & I. I don't know what's going on w/me but my "get up & go" and "got up and GONE". Just one short year ago I was on my way to be a different person. I was happy with my life & with myself. I was on my way to a healthy weight & smiling all the time. What happened?! Well - lets see...It started w/a guy. Things moved fast and furious. At first I believed he was sent to me by God. I mean I was in a great phase of my life. Felt complete w/o a "man" in my life and refused to just "settle" for any man. You see it feels like all of my life I had to "hide" my light under a bushel. Each boy/man I dated seemed threatened by my talents & gifts. So in order to keep the relationship - I would take a step back - out of the light...& let them shine. It's a pattern that I followed time and time again. In high school I quit playing a sport I love because my BF @ the time felt "threatened" - of course under the guise of not being able to see me because of practice/games. Guess what? I quit playing to spend more time w/him...and he kept on playing. Even in my marriage. At the end I was a different person. He didn't like me expressing my own opinions and made me second guess my own thoughts. I didn't even know my own mind. Well I guess I fell into that same pattern - yet again. There were red flags along the way that I chose to ignore. I let him treat my badly. Ignoring me/giving me the cold shoulder...the same things my ex-husband used to do...AND I LET HIM. I guess I haven't learned my lesson yet. In hind sight I should have been very direct and when I noticed him treating me badly - I should have said something. This all culminated w/me falling into a depression and gaining weight. And started another vicious cycle.
Today is the day...well tomorrow will be. Today is planning..& goal setting. In 7 months my baby sister is getting married and in approximately 14 months I'll be taking my kiddo to see my dad's side of the family. Can't see my relatives looking the way I do..especially since the last time I saw them was when I was in the 8th grade!
Off to MAKE IT COUNT...laundry & dinner are calling..
